Me Too

     A few days ago I posted a long post about my mental illness.  I deleted it because I decided it was too depressing, TMI, and too long (have you noticed it takes me a lot of words to say anything? LOL! That is one reason why I haven't considered tweeting. And I am working on shorter blog posts). 
    I would rather my blog be positive, happy, uplifting but at the time I was really struggling with depression.  At that moment I needed to express that. Thank you to those of you who left me a comment or emailed me.  I needed you.  You are part of my support group.  Kind words are important and I thank you for them.   
     Maybe that post was "too much" but I have never hidden my mental illness because maybe I could help someone like many people have helped me.  When I worked at the library at different times two co-workers committed suicide.  I decided that maybe if they had known I struggled with the same sort of things maybe they could have talked to me and maybe things would have been different. 
    I will never, ever, never commit suicide.  I just think of my family .... children, grandchildren, sister, nieces. I would not do that to them.
    I think one of our purposes here on this earth is to help each other.  Today I read these words below on a blog I read ... Hands Free Mama ... and they had special meaning for me. I am going to add her link below but if you don't click on the link for her excellent post at least read these words of hers:
    
"Speak your difficult truths.
Invite someone in on your struggles.
Admit things are not as easy as they look.
And if someone admits a mistake, a fear, or a failure, offer up an honest, “Me too.”
To reveal who you truly are gives someone else the permission to do the same. And when two people meet in the loving light of realness, that camaraderie becomes a protective shield—one that can keep you standing even when life’s harshest attacks try to knock you down."

      Today I am feeling better.  I am looking at what I need to do to keep on the "feel better" path.  I am a strong woman and I plan to live to a 100.  Oh, did you see the cute little 94 year old woman on The Today Show this morning?  I will find it for you.  She is amazing but I am not going to try eating her favorite things.  The hosts on Today Show all tried her favorite foods and I thought they were all going to puke!
    Another thing that has really helped me is listening to a message about mental illness by Jeffrey R. Holland.  I cut and pasted his quote from Pinterest ... that is it up there at the beginning of this post.  His message has been like the balm of Gilead for me.  His tender, sweet, kind words have given me a rope to hang on to.
    Here are the three links that touched me.  I hope you have time for them and find them helpful as well. 
here is Olga, the 94 year old...   http://www.today.com/health/what-makes-olga-run-lessons-94-year-old-track-star-2D11947816
 
Hands Free Mama's excellent post
http://www.handsfreemama.com/2014/01/20/one-bold-move-two-healing-words/

 A Broken Vessel ... Jeffrey R. Holland speaks about MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) which is my diagnosis.  Elder Holland is a leader in my church and this is a Christian message.
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/like-a-broken-vessel?lang=eng&query=

and lastly, my favorite quote that I try to live by .... it is at the bottom of my email messages ...

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Plato
Greek author & philosopher in Athens (427 BC - 347 BC)

And Heaven to Betsy, this is another long post .... evidently I can't write a short post for anything.
Thank you for coming here.  Thank you for being my friend.  If you are a blogger let me know where to read your posts.  Have a wonderful day!

Never Know What Will Make Me Cry

      At a towing company here there was a terrible accident. The newspaper said it was a front end loader and pickup, someone else said it was a tow truck & front end loader...but anyway 2 employees of a towing company here were trying to work on a vehicle (pickup or truck) that was attached to and held up by the front end loader. Well, it fell and killed one man and sent another employee to hospital in critical condition. The man was only 39. 
     Today i was going to Walmart and saw a police car block traffic at a corner for a funeral procession so I pulled over and stopped with everyone else for the funeral cars to pass. I was a few cars back from a corner where the procession turned. I just cried when it became obvious whose funeral procession it was. 
      First was a police car escort, then the hearse, then the family limo and then.... what must have been every tow truck in town, washed and polished like a new penny, truck after truck after truck .... huge tow trucks and smaller ones ... came around that corner, then the cars with the other mourners. I thought our tow truck people must be a pretty special bunch to do this. It was just so touching to see this company's competition show respect that way and I just sat there and cried.

Roverdose

I will actually write a post again someday but until then this tickled my funny bone...

Amarillo-Panhandle Humane Society added a new photo.

This Made Me Smile

Moving On

     My daughter -- the one with the husband who wanted a divorce for Christmas -- is moving into a duplex on Wednesday so I probably won't be here for a few days.  She needs help packing and she has some painting to do.  She is going to need some help.

     The photos of the cute little duplex that she saw online showed milk chocolate walls with white baseboards and trim.  When she actually went to see it the current tenant had painted the living room green, the kitchen purple, one bedroom orange, and my daughter was so blinded by color she can't remember what shade the bigger bedroom was, other than it was awful. The landlord was agreeable to her request of painting it back to neutral colors as long as he didn't have to provide paint or labor.  He had it professionally cleaned, but painting, no.  Sigh.  

     The rent is what my daughter could afford, the neighborhood isn't scary, but mainly it is the only place in her price range that would let her have her big dog, a lab mix. I don't know how much Simmons weighs but a lot more than the 20 lb limit most apartments have for pets. He is a big ol' baby, and he thinks he is a little dog.  We know he is spoiled rotten. He is family to her and her boys, and he will make her feel safe so I am glad she found some place that would let Simmons move with her.

 
 I'm really, really glad because if she had not been able to find a place that would take him Simmons would have ended up with me.  I could not have added hurt to my grandsons by saying no, I won't take in your dog. 
   Snatch this place before someone else gets it, I advised my daughter.  It will be cute once it is painted.   That's my story.

A Day Late and A Dollar Short!

    Dang it! I messed up!  You know I have been recovering from the flu, making me even more ditzy than normal, and I forgot that Wednesday was New Year's Day.  I didn't watch the Rose Bowl Parade and I did not eat my black eyed peas.  I had sense enough to wish y'all happy new year yesterday ( I think it was close to midnight when I posted that) but did not have enough sense to make the connection and remember the parade or peas.  LOL! I know black eyed peas don't have a thing to do with any good luck in 2014 but it is a southern thing.  I thought about eating them today but I didn't. That made me think of the old saying "a day late & a dollar short" ~~~ something my momma said I have always been.  Yeah, well, I am more than a day late on something besides black eyed peas.

       This is the first year since 1989 that I have not had a flu shot by October.  Did I get the flu? Why, yes, I did.  My daughter had her flu shot. Did she get sick even though she was daily around  many family members with the flu? NO. If my momma were alive she would be fussing at me about not getting that shot and being "a day late & a dollar short" if I was thinking about getting one now.  I don't even have a good excuse, other than I just didn't get one.  I was seriously suffering with depression during the fall and depressed people don't get things done. 

     In my last post I mentioned how in the old days there were full service gas stations.  One of my blogger friends mentioned that she thought there was a market for that now, especially for us baby boomers that might not mind spending a few extra cents a gallon for gas for full service. My response to her was: "You know, even living on Social Security and having to pinch pennies like mad, I would pay a little more for gas if I could have some help with my vehicle." I had my oil changed at Wal-Mart in December. They had a $19.99 special. When I picked my van up I asked if the automatic transmission fluid was ok (I have an old van and it leaks everything). She told my they did not check it because I got the $19.99 oil change special. I asked if I could have it checked please and was shocked when she said that she would have to then change my charge to the $29.99 oil change. Yep, $10 to check my auto transmission fluid.   It did NOT get checked!!!

In case I already told you about that, because you know my memory is crazy -- every day is a brand new day to me -- I apologize for any stories I repeat on this blog.

I guess I should add a disclaimer **Wal-Mart did not pay me to promote their $19.99 oil special or to tell you that they won't check the auto transmission fluid for an old lady who is standing there with a basket full of items purchased from said store while they changed my oil and mistakenly thought they could pull the rod out and see if there was any evidence of auto transmission fluid, which I would have then also purchased from them had I needed any (& most likely did need, but I don't know because I can't get the hood open and it still hasn't been checked).**

    Question of the day is would you be willing to pay, let's say 5 cents a gallon more for gas to have someone pump it, wash your windshield, check all the fluids under the hood, check your tire pressure & air them up if needed, take your money and bring the change to you, still sitting in your car not smelling like gas?  (I hear that new cars tell you when your tires are low... alas, my old van only tells me when I have left my blinker on far too long ...that hearing impairment thing.... and when the gas tank is all but empty). 

     Back to that question. I would.  I think I have a 20 gallon tank so at 5 cents that would just be a dollar extra. Maybe not every fill up but at least once a month I would appreciate help with my vehicle. For sure sometimes when it is snowy, or the wind is blowing 75 mph, or it is 17 degrees like earlier today, or it is 104 degrees outside and you burn your hand just touching the outside of your car.  Don't I live in Texas, you ask? Why, yes, I do.   Okay, every fill up.  If it is just a dollar or so extra.

Happy New Year!

     Happy New Year! I am on the mend and I am going to be rid of this dadgum illness in the next day or two.  I think, hope, pray 2014 is going to be a great year.  I am just going to MAKE it be a good one.  Way back a couple of decades ago when Good Morning America first started broadcasting one of the original hosts, David Hartman, use to end by saying "go out and make it a good day."  He never said "have a good day."  I liked that, and I think of it often ~ "make it a good day."
     December was not a good month for me and for several people I love.  Physically we were ill, and emotionally we were battered, just battered, but we will be ok.  My biggest heartache is that I am no longer babysitting my granddaughter and feel like the most of my heart has been ripped from my chest but I just keep telling myself to think you never know what is just around the corner.  I knew in the fall the time was coming, I just preferred to not believe it, and it was actually what nudged me to start this blog.  I have been blessed by those of you who leave comments.  I feel like I have friends. Thank you.

     December books....the best of the bunch were these two...The Modern Magi that I have already told you about and The All-Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion by Fannie Flagg.  I grew to love Fannie Flagg back in the late 60's, early 70's when my mom and I use to enjoy her when she would be a guest on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show. She was so funny, down to earth, interesting, and friendly --- like you would just love to be her neighbor and sit on her porch or yours and visit. 
 Here is the link to Amazon where you can read the review from Booklist.  As of today 530 readers have given it 4 & 1/2 stars. 
http://www.amazon.com/All-Girl-Filling-Stations-Last-Reunion/dp/1400065941/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388647103&sr=8-1&keywords=all-girl+filling+station
      Even if this book weren't written by Fannie Flagg I would have picked it up because my Uncle Jim had a Phillips 66 Station that looked remarkably close to the one on the cover.  When I was a teenager my dad ran a Chevron station and I pumped a lot of gas and hand washed more cars than I care to remember.  That was back in the day when you pulled your car up to the pumps, someone came out and filled your car with gas, washed the windshield, checked the oil & tires and sometimes even gave you something free, like S & H Trading Stamps or an ice tea glass. 
     I also would have picked this book up because it was about strong women.  The women in this story saved the family business when the dad becomes ill and then became pilots during a time when women just didn't do that kind of thing.  More importantly, they became WASPS - Women Airforce Service Pilots. They ferried plans for the Air Force during WWII.  While this book is fiction you can learn a little about  the real women who became WASPS here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_Airforce_Service_Pilots and here http://waspmuseum.org/.    I love that photo of the women attending the 70th year reunion on this site.  :)
     Years ago I knew a woman who had been a WASP and then one of the country's first female air traffic controllers.  Being a teenager I didn't have enough sense to ask her to write down her stories for me.  She passed away a long time ago.  Now I would just love to sit down for long chats with her.
     If you know someone with a story to tell, and we all do, get them to write it down for you while you can.  Maybe interview them and write it for them.  And all of y'all go out and make it a good day!