Sen. Creigh Deeds
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Sunday night I watched 60 Minutes. One report was an interview with Senator Creigh Deeds. My heart goes out to him. Last year Senator Deeds was stabbed 10 times by his son, Gus.
Gus's friends said he idolized his father, was a loving soul, kind, big hearted. Senator Deeds has said Gus was a perfect son, loving, musically brilliant, a successful college student on the Dean's List, and bi-polar.
The interview gives you a glimpse of how the Senator tried to get help for his son on that day. If you missed it, and are interested, you can see a little clip and read the transcript here http://www.cbsnews.com/news/mentally-ill-youth-in-crisis/
On November 19, 2013 Gus was obviously in trouble, but as the case with many ill people, Gus did not want help. He could not understand that he was sick. His father was able to get a court order, a 6 hour court order, to get help for his son and deputies took Gus to the ER. There was no bed available in those 6 hours so he was sent home.
Hours after being in the ER Gus attempted to kill his father. The physical scars left on Senator Deeds body are the least of it. Gus died from his mental illness that day. The system failed him.
I know someone with a little experience with ER's and trying to get help for children. Three of her children suffer with a mental illness, as does she. The kids were all teenagers at the same time. They looked perfectly normal but they were ill. Try dealing with that. Thank goodness she had psychiatrists and a hospital to help. She felt like she was in the battle of her life, and theirs, for years. If a state Senator, a man with power AND money could not get help for his son what chance do regular people have?
Know your child is in trouble and needs to be hospitalized? Well, don't go up to a mental hospital's door and say please let us in. It does not work that way. I know, she tried that.
Go to the ER ... if you can get your child there. When those with a mental illness need help the most they think they don't need help at all --- you must be the one who needs help because they are just fine.
Back to the ER ... Sit in the waiting room full of other people for hours and hours ... if you can get your child to do that. Mentally ill people typically don't want to be in a room with lots of other people who are coughing, sneezing, bleeding, moaning ... especially if they think it is stupid to be there in the first place. Ever try to get a teenager to do something they didn't want to do? Now imagine if they were mentally ill on top of that.
Finally your child will be seen by someone and your child will need to tell them they are suicidal and be able to describe their "suicide plan" ... if they will talk to medical personnel, or they can not be admitted to a mental hospital. At least where we live, and I think that is fairly typical.
Think you will just skip the ER and call your child's psychiatrist directly to get them admitted because they know how ill your child is? Nope, the office will say go to the ER. I know, she tried that.
Get real lucky and you make it through the ER and there is a bed available in a mental hospital and your child is going to get help? Well, there have been budget cuts. The Dr's, nurses, therapists, staff want so desperately to help your child but funding is gone. They will do the best they can. Insurance companies will pay for a patient to stay just long enough to get past the current suicidal thoughts. Usually up to 3 days max. Suicidal thoughts have passed? Ok you can go .... never mind that you still have the mental health issues that brought on the suicidal thoughts in the first place.
Don't have a psychiatrist? Well, good luck there. It can take months and months to get in with one in most places. Expect at least a 3 to 6 month wait in most areas, if not longer.
Need help before then? Go to the ER. See steps listed above. Plan on being there awhile. I hope you ate your Wheaties because you will need all the mental and physical strength you can find to get through this experience of trying to get your child some help during this one ER visit.
And if your child is over 18, you are in deep trouble unless they want help, and a bed is available. Senator Deeds can tell you about that.
And if your child is over 18, you are in deep trouble unless they want help, and a bed is available. Senator Deeds can tell you about that.
Think this topic does not apply to you? What if Gus had not attacked his father but instead had entered an elementary school, like Sandy Hook?
Please write your political representatives and tell them to please cut out ridiculous spending and use that money for important things like caring for veterans, the elderly, hungry kids, and the mentally ill.
Please write your political representatives and tell them to please cut out ridiculous spending and use that money for important things like caring for veterans, the elderly, hungry kids, and the mentally ill.
Very well said friend.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I wish it didn"t need to be said.
DeleteWell told Betsy and I hope people will speak up and sat "No More" I want to believe that enough people CAN make a difference!
ReplyDeleteI want to believe that too but I am losing hope.
DeleteI did see that segment and it was sobering, but I wish 60 Minutes would follow up with your post. There just seems to be a crisis that is not being addressed. And, to me, a big part of the crisis is our societal lack of compassion.
ReplyDeleteLack of compassion is a big part of it. Thank goodness people are compassionate when it comes to a child with cancer. Fund raisers will be held, support given to the family, cards will be mailed to the child. For mentally ill children there will be none of that. None. But they will receive a lot of "advice" like snap out of it.
DeleteVery well written....this seems to be a crisis that lawmakers talk a lot about but never do anything about. Hopefully, there will be some action soon.
ReplyDeleteWell, we can hope but I am not holding my breath. I have been hoping for a long time. After so many things like Sandy Hook you would think something would be done. Maybe this senator can get something started.
DeleteI have a friend her daughter is szicophrenic and sometimes does not take her medicine..Her mother has to be vigilant cause her daughter likes drugs too, this woman gave up a lot to care for her child, the mental illness started after high school when her ex- was a total tool in a bitter divorce she took her clear across country to get away from what she endured, her daughter has many episodes of depression and tried to take her life oh, my living Jesus, she cannot get much help for her, she has to live with her and watch what she does more than a toddler having a temper tantrum, my friend is 65 soon to be 66 and retiring from a good job, now she will be around her quite a bit and really see what it is like all the time to live with sczchophrenia which in my opinion is pretty horrible and top that off with drug addiction, my friend cannot have any relationship with anyone due to this and that fact her ex- took her for the ride of her life, financially and emotionally, I feel sorry for her a lot, she has a great job, money, health care, her daughter is 100 percent not employable so gets ssdi or something like that, but her life is really shot to hell in my opinion, who wants to babysit a grown adult almost 38 years old never knowing if she will got bonkers over any little thing...no one I know..it is a shameful way to have to live and many parents have the responsibility for their entire lives of their children who are mentally ill or siblings who are mentally ill and they cannot get any help, it is absolutely shameful..There is a tiny village in a Scandinavia that has a huge sprowling homes for mentally challenged adults, they are treated well, and most in the village are kind and loving, they take a different view of mentally challenged human beings, they love and care about them, sure these adults are a little slower but they are more loving and kind, what is not to love of these precious angels, the USA could learn a lot about respecting, loving and caring for anyone with mental illness, it is rampant in our country and most are left to fend for themselves which is to say they have nothing, shameful and correctable indeed...If only the congress and senate could appropriate money to mental health services for anyone our USA would be a better place..ciao
ReplyDeletewell said. I can tell you the mentally ill desperately need friends but they are hard to come by. What will happen when your friend passes away, who will look after her daughter? Probably no one. It is such a scary situation.
DeleteI thought Obama-care addressed some of these problems? I do see the need and will check to see how my representatives plan to vote and bug them that need bugging. Thanks for excellent information.
ReplyDelete"For example, insurance companies can no longer authorize a 30-day hospital stay for a stroke and only a two-day stay in the hospital for someone who has had a psychotic break." this is from a good article I found.... http://www.cnn.com/2013/11/08/health/hhs-mental-health/ which also says there is no checking for compliance and the US is grossly short on psychiatrists and not enough people going into psychiatry. Not enough mental hospitals, not enough beds ... the list of problems goes on and on.
DeleteI think the VERY hardest thing - is to get them in to get help - the kids fight it constantly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt IS the hardest thing ... too many mentally ill patients of all ages don't believe they need help and once they turn 18, well they have to want help.
DeleteOur mental health system is on the streets. So much more needs to be done, that's for sure.
ReplyDeleteYou said it....on the streets. You take care, I think of you and your upcoming surgery every day. I know you will be fine.
DeleteCouldn't agree more. This is a spot on post.
ReplyDeletethank you. I could just feel the senator's pain.
ReplyDelete