Well, hello, y'all! No, I did not fall off the face of the earth but it sure seems like it has been a long time since I have been here. Where Have I Been? Oh ... Life happened.
First there was that cutting my medication dosage in half... my liver is recovering but depression has moved right in and hung around. I could write a book just about that. Let's just say I have been in the depression hell hole and leave it at that. I am ok though, hanging in there.
I had an absolutely wonderful visit with my son and I can see how GOOD Seattle has been for him so I am at peace -- finally -- with his move there. I still miss him like crazy but life is good for him, so that is all I can ask for.
I got all moved and I just love love love my apartment. It was the correct thing to do for me in this stage of the game. I am happy here.
My kids and grandkids keep me busy. I am so grateful to be able to see them so often. I am not lonely. :)
I no longer have a car (but my daughter does and she lives right here in this apartment complex) so between that, and agoraphobia moving itself to the front burner along with the depression I have not been out of the apartment much so I just don't have anything fun or exciting to tell you. I really don't go anywhere, but between books and grandkids and my dog I stay busy. I feel .. bad .. I guess, is what would describe it, that I don't have exciting things to tell you, and because of the depression I just don't have it in me to write much that is happy, funny, perky, lively so I just have stayed away from the blog. I haven't read your posts either but now that I have come back to the blog I will read your old posts as I can and catch up. Since I was not posting I felt guilty and would not even read yours although I thought of you, my blogger friends, often. I am going to try to jump back into life though.
I realized the other day that I AM feeling better... because I want to decorate for Christmas for the first time in years. That is mostly because my little granddaughter, who will be 4, is excited about Christmas but still, I haven't decorated any during her lifetime but this year I want to drag it ALL out! That is a good sign. For the past 4 years it just seemed like too much to do. I lost a lot of time during this past 4 years of fighting to get past the worst of the depression roller coaster.
Thinking about losing a lot of time ... my family Dr pointed out that it has been a very long time since I had a mammogram, and to get one. In my mind, I would have sworn I have had one every year but nope, the cancer center where I go for one, and my Dr, insist I have not had one since 2009. Makes sense, 2010 was the year of my breakdown (and life as I knew it was gone with the wind...along with my memory). Anyway, I had one maybe 2 weeks ago and and everything is fine! After being convinced that I had indeed not have one in 5 years I was really worried, considering my family history.
So, there is the good news, I guess. And here I am, trying to get back in the swing of things. I have missed you.